she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
