the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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