it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My vagina is very pro this idea
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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