So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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