That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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