you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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