And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
