i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
