You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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