i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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