They have a pepper shaker for pot.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
