Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
