I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
