I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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