Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
