Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize