u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
