Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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