I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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