I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
