the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
