is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
