Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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