No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
