Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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