Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize