Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
