Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
