Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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