fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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