How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
