Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
