your parents love me but you hate me
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize
