Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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