at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
