At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
