I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
