wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
