wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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