Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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