it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
