I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He has the fingertips of a God
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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