you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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