I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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