I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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