so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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