You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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