i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
