I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize