Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
