There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Pooping to opera.
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