Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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