8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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