is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So squirting runs in the family.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
