so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
