People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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