He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
